He’s a Hard Taskmaster

Far out can this like get any tougher? Yeah I guess it can so that’s a dumb question.

My mother lives on the same property as us in the granny flat really close, need I say more.

Our finances are in the toilet even though we haven’t’ done anything differently in the past 6 months. We have less and less each week.

My marriage is just scraping along, doing what’s necessary, but no fun in it, I am not excited to see him and he is less than excited to see me of an afternoon. We do our best to love each other but it’s very strained at the moment. It’s not that bad that we would leave each other but shit it’s getting really testy.

My youngest son who is still at home is off in game land. He doesn’t bathe unless I tell him, he is bone idle, getting him to do school work is a right pain in my ass, getting him to talk without asking for money is also another great task. His room is worse than a tip, or was until I cleaned it up yesterday!

My youngest daughter has Crohns disease and her specialist treatment is an hour away so taking her there is costly. Neither her nor her husband have licenses since he got done for driving an unregistered vehicle. They have 3 kids and no license, how stupid is that. Well it falls to me to run them around.

Everything I seem to touch turns to shit!! What is the actual go with that? And all I get from prayer is, be patient good things are coming…….uuuuuummmm…….when?   Pray without ceasing….well thats just not going to happen I have things to do.

I walk in fear of God all the time. I think if I don’t get up and pray in the morning something bad will happen to my kids. If I don’t get up and pray every morning, more money will be taken from us if that’s even possible.

Is there anyone else feeling that this Christian life is just too hard? I mean surely God doesn’t want me living like this in a constant state of annoyance and fear? I rebuke the devil every single day and I put on my armor and yet nothing seems to work. Ugh I feel very defeated at the moment which is not the way God intended. I don’t know how to get rid of all these negatives and replace them with positives. I pray every day with full intention. Maybe I should get super intentional with my affirmations. I don’t know? Can someone enlighten me as to what to do? I would really appreciate it!

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