I’ve got to tell you I have been really struggling with life at the moment. Nothing is working, everything is failing, life is shit and I am so off Christmas. We have no money, my Faith has waned and hope seems to be for those who are happy! Life is getting that bad that we are going into Christmas with NO money to buy ANYTHING, I have 4 kids and 7 grandkids, imagine how crap I feel because I can’t buy presents let alone a shit tonne of food! Can you imagine what my conversations to God have been like lately……yeah not good! I blame him and the devil equally for everything that is going on but what I have failed to do is blame myself and that dreadful thing in my head called my TONGUE.
James 3:6 says – And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
You see, I have been speaking lack, fear, despair, death, poverty and great anger over our situation and what has happened? It has appeared exactly as I have been speaking it. I have been praying yes, but prayer without works won’t work, so I have been praying one thing and DOING and speaking another! Ugh how bloody stupid am I?! Don’t get me wrong, to speak the opposite of what your situation is is VERY difficult but if you don’t start NOW then you WILL attract more of the same. Stuff that I am sick of being bloody broke, but the funny thing is there is no good reason for us to be totally out of money every payday after the bills are paid. We have done nothing differently for the last 6 months yet we have gone from being able to manage and having a bit left over to having NOTHING left over why? because we wanted more and started saying we need more for this or that and we don’t have enough. It wasn’t long before we didnt actually have enough which is now!
This morning I had my ‘LAST’ word to God, I was like if you don’t show up I’m done!! I started checking emails and everywhere I looked there was a scripture for me about speaking to my mountains –
Whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.
– Mark 11:23
Like literally everywhere I looked, on my newsfeed, instagram everywhere. I also had some audios opened that I had opened a few days ago and just left on my computer to listen to ‘later’ and for some reason TODAY was LATER.
Dani Johnson is a business coach and life coach through the scriptures but today she was MY coach. Coaching ME on what I was doing wrong, not God and not even the devil but ME. I was allowing the words spoken from my mouth to be full of fear and not faith, death and not life, unbelief instead of belief. It was ME all along. Everything I was thinking and saying about my marriage was coming true (this is the ONE thing the devil could not touch until I allowed him in through my words) everything about our finances that made no sense at all was coming true, HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID!! I was filling my head with stupid worldly shit like Longmire, Stranger Things, Harry Potter (which I love) instead of filling up on God first! You see we can like things like that if we fill up with God FIRST! I wasn’t doing that and I let the floodgates of shit open up and pour into my life. (Clearly I still have issue with cussing LOL!) Do you know what else I was so so close to doing? Getting a clairvoyant reading, I was so desperate to see if my life was going to improve. I had a reading in my early Christian days and God lead me to this scripture;
There shall not be found among you anyone who burns his son or his daughter as an offering, anyone who practices divination or tells fortunes or interprets omens, or a sorcerer or a charmer or a medium or a necromancer or one who inquires of the dead, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord. And because of these abominations the Lord your God is driving them out before you. Deuteronomy 8: 10-12
Bloody hell I nearly went there under the deception of the devil telling me it was ok, “they are like prophets who speak prophecy”. The devil even rekindled a friendship I had sort of forgotten about with a clairvoyant, thing is she is an awesome person and she has prospered greatly through her new age beliefs so of course it was perfectly matched for her to come back into my life when I was feeling very vulnerable. See a pattern forming here…..
Thankfully I was at my worst last night, ready to give up, ready to go back to the world and I woke up stating my last and final case with God and BOOM he led me to the audio I had already opened days ago. BOOM he led me to emails with the same message, BOOM he led me to my newsfeed with the same message!! Ok, this is what he is telling me to do, this is how I handle all this crap and suddenly I felt a familiar feeling in the pit of my gut, a warmth that can only be described as Hope and I knew that God was showing me what to do next and he hasn’t left me like I thought! I felt a real Love in my Spirit that I haven’t felt before and guess what?……GOD SHOWED UP!
If you are at this same place I really encourage you to read this book go to Dani Johnsons website and listen to her audios.
This one in particular – trust me when I say it will change your life and if it doesn’t come back to it later, maybe now is not your time.
Then Listen to This
Always remember our God is an Awesome God and He will never leave you! xx